I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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