i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
