i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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