I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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