Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ttyl tear gas
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
