if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
