Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
