I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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