How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
