please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize