What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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