My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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