So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
