There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
