Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
