I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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