I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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