I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
