My brain says no but my pants say off.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
