I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
