Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
