i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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