i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
