We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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