Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
