Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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