How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
