i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
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I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I have post one night stand depression
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