can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
