Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
