so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
