Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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