just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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