im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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