I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
