where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
