this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize