he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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