That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
