I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
