I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
