I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Someone signed my nipple.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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