it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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