Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize