"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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