so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
