Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
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Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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