Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ladies don't puke and tell
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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