Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
