Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
