Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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