I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
