I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
