awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
