i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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