you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
